Buzzkill

by postrich bear

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about

I wrote this collection of songs over the last few years and recorded them on audacity throughout 2018/2019 in various locations around Oregon.

credits

released March 8, 2019

All songs written, recorded, mixed, and performed by Andy Alvarez
All trumpet tracks were performed by Matthew Mischke
Additional vocals were added by Megan Blankenship
Cello on "I Don't Mind" was done by Ian Hammerquist
Thank you Bryan Kennedy for letting me use your drum set for this album
Thank you to my family for putting up with me making so much noise around your house, Dad, Mom, Cris, Buffon, I love you!
Thank you Joey Gomez for taking pictures of me to use for promo.
Thank you to all my friends, this one's for you, all of you.

Thank you to everyone that has attended a show or gave my music a chance it means an awful lot. I hope you guys like this one <3

Album mastered by Azimuth Mastering

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

postrich bear Salem, Oregon

www.facebook.com/postrichbear/

Making music in a basement.

contact / help

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Track Name: Meg Said
Meg said
I’m losing sleep again
Let’s stay up
And watch cartoons instead
Bad dreams
Have been fucking with your head
You’re Tossing
And turning in your bed

Let’s go outside drink our coffee and play
Pick up some food for the end of the day
Binge watch a show or some anime
Go for a drive and watch the world waste away

I’ll never make you cry again

I love you singing songs about how I’ll die
Yeah I love you running laps inside my stupid mind

Meg said
I’m hoping for the best
I still need
To get this off my chest
Don’t do
Something you’ll regret
Cause I’ll leave
Like a fleeting red sunset

Let’s go outside drink our coffee and sing
Pick up some fruit and some lemonade
I’ll take us home at the end of the day
Peek at the stars when I’m closing the shades

Hey I love you hugging me so tight that I can’t breathe
Yeah I love you swimming through my mind really deep

Meg said
Come and kiss me on the head
Track Name: Mooncalf
Killing time down by the docks
You always wear unmatching socks
To match how you feel inside

Darkened eyes and bitter tea
You fall in love with the little things
That eat you up inside

But I’ve been dreaming I could save
A million people from the days they hate themselves
And try to be someone else

But I can’t even look at my own face
And feel I’ve taken up too much space
I’m done trying hard to be brave

Smoking cigs and downing gin
You try to force another grin
When you feel dead inside

Becomes too hard to hang out with friends
Everything now feels like the end
It's hard just to leave your bed

But I’ve been dreaming I could save
A million people from the days they hate themselves
And try to be someone else

But I can’t even look at my own face
And feel I’ve taken up too much space
I’m done trying hard to be brave

I first noticed your eyes when I was being crucified
You were standing nearby waving softly goodbye
To someone you have never met before
My eyelids got too heavy as I passed out on the floor

You nursed me back to health though you were living in hell
My sweet dancing vampire queen
When I opened up my eyes again to the light
You were too far to say goodbye
I couldn’t catch up this time
Track Name: My Devil Baby
My devil baby likes to hide in the dark
Scared that the good times disappear when they start
My devil baby don’t like anyone
Plays with old matches always looking lonesome

How do you feel
Like nothing good is real

My devil baby’s got red blood shot eyes
Really sharp teeth it’s got fingers like knives
Obsessed with evil likes a kiss on the cheek
But never skips tea time or some good time with me

Hey I don’t mind
As long as you’re feeling fine

I know you can find
Something good inside

My devil baby come and tear me apart
Say that you love me then cut out my heart
Burn up my body put me deep in ground
As long as you're happy you're still making me proud
Track Name: Aging Apathy
Wish I could be someone better
Then the person I have been
I’ve living by a fault line
Trying hard to take it all back

Wait I feel strange
But I think this comes with age

I know I’m not the same
Times really made me change
Into the things I used to hate

Just take me back to when
I was so young and innocent
Before I felt the need to grow
And hollow out into a ghost

I’ve been feeling fucking shitty
Trying hard just to stay numb
Mom told me that it gets better
These things pass as you grow up

Wait I still feel strange
Will this ever pass with age

I know I’m not the same
Times really made me change
Into a sack of nostalgic shit

Just take me back to when
I still felt like I could win
Cause it’s been loss after fucking loss
And I keep forgetting to floss

Guess I’m scared of what will happen
Never thought much on what a next
Track Name: Lonely City
I grew up in a city
Where everyone tries to disappear
They try to go somewhere warmer
Or just really far away from here

Well I’ve kept their secrets in the bedrock
Cause I’m still hanging around this town
And when people come back to visit
It’s always when the rains not pouring down

Please don’t leave me now
Cause I’m scared of traveling on
I really love this town
Even when everybody’s gone

And I know things will change
And that nothing can stay the same
But I wish I could keep it all in place
Before everyone goes away

Please don’t leave me now
Cause I’m scared of traveling on
And I really love this town
Even when everybody’s gone

Lonely City
Track Name: Where the River Meets the Mouth of the Ocean
I saw your body
falling fast from the sky
I was walking home stupid
From drinking that night
I saw all of the stars
Burning up there so bright
You just came for a second
To say your last goodbye like you do
Maybe heavens cruel
maybe heaven is just
I don’t know what do
My hearts filling up with rust
Just hug all of your family
And all of you friends
Everyday you get up
Cause someday it will end
Don’t you know

Time isn’t kind it’s been killing my friends
I’ve been floating down this river but can’t get around the bend
Feeling empty and cold with this hole in my chest
But I don’t need a heart to fall in love again

Fill up your lungs man
Just take a deep breath
It will all be ok
You can clean up this mess
You can stand through the storm
You can laugh off the pain
You can’t swim the damn ocean
But you can ride that wave like you do

Just pick up your feet man
Keep on walking on
It don’t have to end here
You can make it last long if you want
You can stop and watch the world go by
Take a second to sit
And rest your tired eyes
Won't you please

Time isn’t kind it’s been killing my friends
I’ve been floating down this river but can’t get around the bends
Feeling empty and cold with this hole in my chest
But I don’t need a heart to fall in love again
Track Name: Hopeful March of the Hopeless
I can’t open my eyes
I’ve been feeling dead
Fucking empty inside
But when you
Make breakfast for me
I’ll always get out of bed
And take my coffee with cream

It just gets so hard sometimes
Just to simply be alive
Cause these days
I’ve been feeling like a ghost most of the time

I’ve been smoking and cigs and trying to drive
109 headed south down the lonely I-5
Hoping that I crash
But I’m not sure that I wanna die

It’s been long fucking nights with tv turned on
It’s been long fucking fights with myself and this song
As I play my guitar
And put off important things

It just gets so hard sometimes
When your life keeps passing by
And you can’t keep up with changes over time

I will shout away all my worries and fears
I will shout away all my self doubting tears
And the thoughts in my head
That seem to strangle me

I will sleep away this bad passage of time
I will sleep away all my worries and sighs
And I will dream of some better happy days

Just know that I love you
Even when I don’t ask for help
And I’m so sorry
I get caught up in hating myself

It’s just gets so hard sometimes
Just simply be alive
Cause these days
I’ve been feeling like a ghost most of the time
Track Name: Lucky Lounge Lizard
I was sitting
It was quiet
In the lounge where you stole my heart like a pirate

Was it evil
Was it unconscious
That we didn’t care what lies beyond this

Sweet lips and swinging hips
We had fun
Too much fun
Lounging naked in the sun

It’s getting dark out
Yet I linger
On the feeling that you to might be eager

We can meet up
For a cocktail
You can tell me all about your silly folk tales

Sweet lips and swinging hips
Eating plums
And making love
Lounging naked in the sun
Track Name: I Sink You Swim
Walking to your house in the pouring rain
Trying to find out what I’m gonna say
To make you feel better and all okay
Heard you been down and feeling pain

Tell me what you think about the world we know
Tell me everywhere that you wanna go
Do you ever feel sad and all alone
Wish you had somewhere else to go

Well I’m not like them
I won’t make you sink or swim
Just tell me that you feel the same

I like it when you’re sleeping here next to me
Do ever dream about real scary things
If you ever wake up and need some peace
I’ll make you some pizza and sleepy tea

Let’s stay up all night watching cartoons
You’ll drink some wine and I’ll drink some too
Then we’ll take a walk and look at the stars
Take a rocket up to planet mars

Well I’m not like them
I won’t make you sink or swim
Just tell me that you feel the same
Track Name: I Don't Mind
If you changed up your wardrobe
And cut off your hair
Said your unhappy
And need far from here
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
As long as you’re mine

If you left me in Salem
To rot and decay
But came back in spring time
To plant me again
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind

Wait I don’t know what to do
Where should I plant all my roots
Stay or I’m coming with you
I’ll grow wherever you choose
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
I don’t mind
As long as you're mine
Track Name: My Dog
Running through the grass in the backyard
You were king
As you’d lay out in the sun

It’s been hard watching you get old
Your bones get fragile
There’s more grey around your nose

Don’t you cry
Cause I know I’ll cry
When you die

And I know that all dogs go to heaven
So they say
But I want you to stay
To lick my face when I’m crying
And I’m down
Can’t you always stick around

You kept me warm in the winters
Laying on my feet
You loved to lay underneath
All the blankets that you chewed up
When you were young
In the litter you were the runt

And when you sing
It’s been harmony
And don’t you leave

And I know that all dogs go to heaven
So they say
But I want you to stay
To lick my face when I’m crying
And I’m down
Can’t you always stick around

Buffon I love you you’re my dog
Buffon I love you you’re my dog
Buffon I love you you’re my dog
Buffon I love you you’re my dog
Track Name: F is For Friends That Sometimes Drift Apart
Hey I just thought you should know
I walked six long hard hours through the snow
Just to find out you weren’t even home

I wish we still talked sometimes
Split some stories and tequila and lime
You can tell how dumb I used to be

And I know we have to grow up
I’m just scared that I’m lacking so much
I can’t swim or feel that I’m enough

I heard you got your degree
You’ve seen more of the world then I’ll see
I’m still stuck in the same town
Don’t feel bad for me when you come around

Hey I’ll be okay
Hey I’ll be okay
Hey I know it’s not the same
Hey I hate all the change

I hope that you’re still happy
Singing loud through the fields and the trees
I hope that you remember me
It’s not like everything was meant to be
Track Name: Stuck In a Rut
I’ve been hiding out for days
In my bed trying hard to escape
From everything that makes me think to much Until I’m stuck in a rut

Can’t you share some sympathy
I feel like I can’t fucking breathe

It’s been raining on my head
As I walk to work feeling like I’m dead
And everyone and everything that passes me by Makes me feel something

So I’ll throw up my hands and start running fast
I hope it lasts
Track Name: BFF BBQ
Memories of waves crashing over me
Cold summer days playing down on the old south beach
We were too young to understand
We were to busy letting sand slip through our hands

We never cared much about growing old
We were too busy trying look cool while we smoked
It’s been a long time since I spoke to you
Seasons came and went and you stayed were you had moved

I sank my fangs into anything to slow down time
Though were no longer moving forward
I suspect we’re on the same deadline

I chugged wine when you drove away
To live where the sea’s a different name
Dead flowers are all that remain
In a place that now feels quite strange

Falling off the edge at 23
Wishing I could be swinging from your old oak tree
Tell me all about possibilities
Tell me something quick cause I’m feeling lost at sea

I sank my fangs into anything to slow down time
Though were no longer moving forward
I suspect we’re on the same deadline

I chugged wine when you drove away
To live where the sea’s a different name
Dead flowers are all that remain
In a place that now feels quite strange
Track Name: Kuma
Waffles in the morning
As you slow dance inside my head
Please don’t look back
When you can look ahead
Can’t change the dead past
We just can chase regrets

You know I love it when you say
Baby come over
Hell I could be there everyday
I’ll take that chip your shoulder
You’ll toss and turn but you won’t sink

Ain’t it funny ain’t it strange
How we’re getting older
I get more achy by the day
And body’s feeling colder
These changes might kill me someday

Wait tell me you don’t mind
If we go chasing waterfalls
And gogo dancing through the night

I get more fucked up everyday
With the way that you love me
I’m stuck to you won’t go away
That’s why you still call me honey
Together in this hunk of mess we made

But wait tell me you don’t mind
If we go chasing waterfalls
And gogo dancing through the night

Kuma
Just know I love you
I got some sad eyes
But you got some sadder tunes
Tell me what you want
And I’ll get it for you
Kuma just call me
I could use some good news
Track Name: Swan Song
It’s a marathon
Trying to carry on
When everyday I’ve been stumbling
Please ramble on
I love it when you talk
It lets me escape from my thoughts
I border on
Laughing like a clown
And jumping in a lake to drown
Sing a song
About a whistling swan
Who never got the chance to fly
Got too distracted trying to die

Dragon ball
I need morning cartoons
And sugar on my buttered toast
Stick my hand
Out the open window
And pretend I’m flying through the wind
What I’d give to be a kid again

So withdrawn
From my friends these days
No wonder no one ever asks me out
I’m living on
What feels like borrowed time
On a long stretch of empty road
That used to be the only way back home

I can’t escape
Feeling like a blue boy about to break
Out staring at the stars
Wishing I could be as strong as your are

I can’t escape
Feeling like a blue boy about to break
Out staring at the stars
Wishing I could be as strong as your are

Won’t be long
Until my swan song

Won’t be long
Until my swan song
Track Name: It Gets Worse Before it Gets Better
Blood on my shirt
I’ve been running for years
Now it hurts just to be
Somewhere I can sit still and just breathe
I tried my best
Just to wait until it all made sense
Life flying by
And forever seems like a waste of time.

I’m still feeling strange
As the world begins to change
It’s so hard to remain
Where nothing stays the same

Things that make you cry
And things you try to hide
They surface and they rise
When you think about your life

And I love all my friends
Even though I know someday our love will end
And I love my stupid life
Even though I know it gets so hard sometimes

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