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Every Love Story Is A Ghost Story

by postrich bear

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Donald Orr
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Donald Orr Clocking in at 24 tracks and just under 90 minutes, Andy gives us one of his most beautifully poignant albums to date.

luv u bb! Favorite track: Walked To Your House In The Rain.
tonymachine
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tonymachine He's the best :) Favorite track: Baby Blue.
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1.
2.
Hey mom I've been feeling strange Bad thoughts keep flooding my brain I can't sleep through one single night Bad dreams and nightmares until I die Hey dad help me to understand How to always stop feeling so sad I don't want to be moping around I'm just so tired of feeling down Little brother see that you've been growing up Don't let life get you down too much Just remember being young Watching movies and laying on the rug Hey Buffon you're my favorite dog But I know your life don't last too long Just hold out for a few more years Cause loosing you is one of my biggest fears Life's always moving too fast No wonder you always hold onto the past When it seems like you're getting cold They'll say grow up kid i'm told You still try your best sometimes Yes I know you've been feeling tired Just a bit of death around your eyes Cause growing up looks like a waste of time You still cry yourself to sleep sometimes Yes I know you've been feeling tired Just a bit of death around your eyes Cause growing up looks like a waste of time You still try your best sometimes Yes I know you've been feeling tired Just a bit of death around your eyes Cause growing up looks like a waste of time You still feel alone sometimes Yes I know you've been feeling tired Just a bit of death around your eyes Cause growing up looks like a waste of time
3.
Well I love when you think about me as I play my stupid songs and somebody sings along and I love when you're looking right at me when i'm scared to death on stage I get real nervous when I play and I try to practice all the words i'm gonna say when I get to talk to you so I come off really cool and when I see you I tend to walk the other way cause I get really afraid i'll fumble the words I wanna say cause you seem so rad and with these things i'm pretty bad I don't know why it's hard to say any word to your face And I wrote this song for you to hear while you stir A spoon in your drink i'd love to hear what you think I'd luv to hear what you think
4.
Baby Blue 03:57
Oh girl lean into me Say I'm anything To me your everything And darling i'm here on my knees Begging please oh please Oh yeah my baby blue How I need you Darling what should I do So you need me too Oh girl when you walk my way I don't know what to say Just to make you stay And darling if you need then I will be Whatever you want or whatever you decree Baby you're like a dream Just like make believe When I see you leave Cause it's only real when your next to me And make my heart skip every beat Oh yeah my baby blue How I need you Darling what should I do So you need me too
5.
I really love it here I'm just scared i'll disappear Cause it's just like me To always be leaving I really love when you speak It distracts me from all of the bad things And when I see you smile Time always freezes here for just a little while That's all right with me Cause these days I feel so old my childhood friends are losing hope Scared there's no place for us As our hearts slowly fill up with rust I found comfort in your room While laying on the floor and talking to yu When I drove home I cried Cause I would slowly start to leave your life Somethings we'll always regret Now we're talking again Just like back when we we're friends I'm really trying to take it slow Cause I tend to lose control I Find it hard to say How I feel to you face to face I'm not even sure if it's real Cause I've been getting shit faced instead of trying to heal When i'm sober I will say Carry me Marry me Bury me Please Cause i'm scared soon there'll be nothing left
6.
Stumbling 03:40
Stumbling through the days Dreaming it'll all be okay Such a shame when you're no longer feeling the same Always crumbling down Never talking out loud Disappear at the sound Of you coming around Loosing track of time Oh wait a few years have gone by You're still living a lie Pretending that you're fine Feeling so far away From a pain that you crave Never feeling the same Never feeling... You're all I think about Singing a tomb for you now So strung out Wishing you were still around Please don't try to save me I sabotaged my life from the start Tried to give you a few years But you just let time come tear that apart And i'm not my thoughts Tell myself I am not All the evil inside of my head Just let me rot Be the things you forgot I'll just fuck up my life till the end You're all I think about Singing a tomb for you now Feeling down And wishing you were still around
7.
Down by the docks I lost my friend We cried a lot Now they're drifting down around the bend What to do When I lost my way Stuck in the past With all my demons and my old ways How I wish I could cry It's been awhile since I cried And how I wish I could cry I had a love But now they are gone Ran far away While I was sleeping drunk upon a lawn All alone drinking for two I'll pour you glass In case you ever come back to this fool How I wish I could cry It's been awhile since I cried And how I wish I could cry I'd sell my soul For one shot at fame Hell i'd sell my soul For just a bit of food here on my plate Take my bones And all of my blood Take all my hope I'm just tired of being so damn broke How I wish I could cry It's been awhile since I cried And how I wish I could cry Up on the hills You flew away With wind in your hair Moonlight pressed against your gentle face There I cried For the first time Since you said goodbye Back when I could look you in the eyes
8.
Peters 04:42
I'll take you to Aberdeen to see the man you need I know he's dead girl but i'll revive him with a bit of wizardry And i'll rip holes in my jeans And grow my hair down to my jeans In case if you ever need In your travels some company And I know that you're more than fine alone Living life just like a rolling stone If you find that somewhere down the road You want a beast of burden to shake your bones Make you laugh and make you cry Sing about a blackbird in the dead of night Well I hope that you know that i'm willing to try But I sure respect if i'm not that guy But damn Oh damn You're so cool the way you stand And sometimes don't smile on instagram You like the classics like Stevie Nicks And rock out to Jimi Hendrix And I saw you watching a 30's silent film And I couldn't help but feel all these feeling that felt so real Though they are feelings I should probably kill Sometimes online I see your arguments When you get heated about politics I think it's groovy hilariously cool Hell if it was a game you'd write the rules And I know that it's no fair of me To sing about these lines that you don't believe So I would like to apologize with this next verse especially Like i know I've only said 10 real words to you Like I "heard you like Jake Bugg well I think that's cool" And you're totally rad And this songs probably bad Cause you most likely think this is totally sad Like hey man who the flying fuck are you To write a song about me in your room To the same four chords as Wonderwall Oh you're such a poser another brick in the wall But damn Oh Damn You're so cool the way you stand And sometimes don't smile on instagram You like the classics like Stevie Nicks And rock out to Jimi Hendrix And I saw you watching a 30's silent film And I couldn't help but feel all these feeling that felt so real Though they are feelings I should probably kill
9.
Well I left you in California When you said that I wasn't the one And you held my hand so tightly and said "Oh but Darling you're the one I love" And I don't want to grow old Cause I know that mean we'll grow apart But I know that sometime somewhere down the line we will get one more chance to restart Oh And I hope you end up happy Cause i'm tired of hearing you cry Oh you call me up at 3am And say "I can't get a grip on this life" So i'll take you out for coffee And we'll drive to the hills out west And we'll stare at city lights All through the night As the sky slowly gets undressed But what could I say To make it all okay And tell me every word You need to hear so you don't feel hurt Well you don't call anymore And now you're passed out on somebodies floor And you don't give a fuck or a shit about love Last time we talked you said "grow the fuck up" Oh cause i'll die at 27 Heard there's a club that can't get to heaven Oh and if you ever need relief Just grab a lighter paint it white and breathe But what could I say To make it all okay And tell me every word You need to hear so you don't feel hurt Well I saw you here last winter And we talked just like time had froze And I looked you in the eyes and said that I loved you the same You grabbed my hands and you said "I know" But our love was for a different time And like every good thing it too will pass But i'll hope and i'll hope with all of my might That a part of us gets to last Oh that a part of us gets to last
10.
Fucked up again Alone in my bed You've been on my mind Memories fill up my head And someday you'll die I'll bet it's heaven that waits But we're still alive And I find it hard to say You're just like heaven to touch Man I miss you so much Brush your hands through your hair You pretend not to care Demons dance all around As yah lay on the ground And man I miss you these days And I will sing Every word that you need For when you can't sleep And it's comfort you seek And I will cry Whenever you're feeling pain It'll all be okay Cause i'll take all the blame You're just like heaven to touch Man I miss you so much with your smile and your laugh Man I want it all back Back when we felt alive Cause we're both dead inside And hell I miss you these days Damn I miss you these days
11.
Always said hey boy you'll do great things And make it out with the funny way you sing But i'm still in this town pissing around While my friends are leaving it's just chronicles of young failure for me I still have some paper mache bird you made I keep it around to remind me of better days Now i'm stuck in this place I can't escape That used to feel like home But everybody's left and i'm all alone And hey man I miss you and the way things used to be Way back when I was so young and you cared for me So i'll say hey man I'm sorry I wasted all your time I know you're moving on without me And that's just fine
12.
Heaven please Wake me from this dream It's too good to be real Must be fantasy Cause when you;'re next to me I can feel everything And as my heart pumps blood All I do is think of you Singing your name Alone by the river bank Waiting for a flood to come and carry me away You once asked Are you worth your weight in gold Well I aint worth shit i'm just getting old Memories Are all i'll ever need Cause I don't like what's real I prefer fantasy Say my name in vain Cause it only brings you pain And I will go away So you don't take the blame Whisper your name When you pass me at the bank Smile when I say You still look at me the same Suicide pact at 15 years old But just like paper in the wind We were bound to fold
13.
Cross out my name From your bed frame So you don't have to think About me when you sleep Cause it' no the same With us these days When you pass by You always look the other way I'm partly to blame Cause I ain't a saint Just a thorn in your side Oh an always constant pain But I still believe Someday we could be Friends just like when we were young and happy But if it's not meant to be Then you will find me Gasping for air at the bottom of the sea Cause I can't really swim But when you're away in Lisbon I'll fight the currents Oh but surely won't win Set me to flames I'll burn at the stake Repent for all of our sins And all our mistakes The older we get the less we will talk The older we get the less i'll cross your thoughts The less i'll cross your thoughts But in my thoughts you still smile a lot Yeah in my thoughts you still smile a lot Yeah in my thoughts you still smile a lot Yeah in my thoughts you still smile a lot
14.
What the hell happened here I thought that this was gonna be my year And now i'm spending every night on my couch Popping pills into my mouth To pass the time And she's been trying to forget Well everything we ever did You should dig oh the past out from your head You'll be better off instead She said She said Somewhere there's a place Where you'll be better off someday But i'm scared that I won't find peace of mind And it's my bad health i'll find Down the line And I've been walking for a day 11 hours in the rain But I won't let this dying body break Until I know this is the place Until I know this is the place This is the last song I will sing With bad thoughts on my mind And this is the last time I will be Oh the one that's left behind If you try to hard to find heaven It's hell you'll find If you try to hard to find heaven Oh it's hell you'll find And I said Hey man don't you worry Cause I think we'll be fine And I said hey man what's the hurry We still got a little time Before we die
15.
Sometimes I want to disappear Cause these days man I really hate it here My friends are all growing up And I just keep fucking up Last week I found myself upon the floor Too weak to get myself out the door Maybe I should just give it up Stay here and Disappear for a month But I love you Yeah I love you Yeah I love you I just don't love me Dear me get your shit together please And spend more time with your family Someday everybody's gonna die And you'll be wishing that you had more time Pain please purge me here passivly Knee deep in some twisted fantasy Dark eyes cause I can't ever sleep Up late rejecting all my human needs But I love you Yeah I love you Yeah I love you I just don't love me Dear love I know i'll never be enough And i'll find a way to fuck it up I'm scared of being close to anyone So I tend to disappear and run Kill me before I start to get to old Kill me before my stupid life erodes Kill me I want just to disappear I'm scared and I want to disappear But I love you Yeah i love you Yeah I love you I just don't love me I just don't love me
16.
Dream of me When you're away in Mexico And i'm stuck with life's undertows alone Here at home You'll be drinking margaritas and beer I'll be waiting here by the door To say bésame por favor Think of me When you're dancing down on the coast Moonlight shines down on your nose I love Hope you're having fun I wish I was with you porque Me haces falta Sueña Conmigo Sueña Conmigo Sueña Conmigo Sueña Conmigo
17.
Regret 03:30
I really wanted to but I couldn't say goodbye Cause I had already wasted so much of your time And I feel bad for leaving you All alone against the world while I tried to Become someone better than me But once again like always I didn't succeed And i'm sorry I left you here just to wilt away as you cried But I know you will bloom again before you die And I just miss looking in your eyes When you used to tell me everything would be all right And now when I look in any stupid mirror All I see is someone holding back their tears And i'm sorry So i'll cry a little bit at night Cause I know everything won't be all right You can never unfuck the past All you can do is try to make the good times last So i'll cry a little bit at night Cause I know everything won't be all right you can never unfuck the past You can only try your best to take it back So i'll cry a little bit at night Cause I know everything won't be all right You can never unfuck the past All you can do is try to make the good times last
18.
Someday I will call you When I'm 80 And say that I miss you And maybe You'll be happy Oh to hear my voice When we've grown old And on the phone we will go... Don't give up I know it's not easy But I know these things Will all fall in place And some night When i'm 60 I hope you show up at my door And kiss me on the face And our lips will go... These days It's been raining And someday When i'm 40 I hope you drown me in our local creek And as I gasp for air I will go... Right now You're probably at home And I wonder if you still feel alone If it's that way You can call me I'd love to hear all about your day
19.
Glitter sparkles on your eyelids You're popping pills here just for fun Trying hard to forget what you've done Depression generation they all sung Lost someone you used to love They blew their brains out with a gun You cried for hours laying there in the mud Depression generation bring the drugs But wait Will I make it Past the age of 23 When I got no money Or health insurance guaranteed Spend all day smoking in your bed Try to fumigate the demons in your head And cut all ties with the people who try To help you when you're sad You just self destruct Cause you don't give a fuck Feeling everything's all bad Getting fucked up in the morning Before you have to face the day It's the only way you ever feel okay Depression generation who's to blame? Heard you've been feeling lots of pain Your body hurts, your heart aches You just want to talk to someone who relates Depression generation they all hate But wait Will I make it To the age of 69 When it's so damn easy to find a quicker way to die Spend all day smoking in your bed Try to fumigate the demons in your head And cut all ties with the people who try To help you when you're sad You just self destruct Cause you don't give a fuck Feeling everything's all bad
20.
C.R.L 01:49
Corinna was my favorite friend But now we don't even talk I never thought it would end She's the reason I don't match my socks And I hope someday she will be Oh the happiest human being Cause I sure love to see her smiling Though these days it's only in my dreams And hey don't cry Man i swear it'll be all right Just dry your eyes And i'll take you home tonight And tell you this it's been awhile since we held hands Heard you got yourself a brand new man I hope he's everything you need Fucking hell he better be It's been awhile since you've called me scout What the hell is that about? When I write you I still call you champ But these days you never write me back And when I die Will I even cross your mind Or will you try Oh to find me in another life And tell me this...
21.
Room in my closet to hang everything but me Bruised up knuckles running off two hours of sleep Moonlight shined down as tears ran along your cheek And I just stood there as I watched all the years leave
22.
You were gone for a month while I slept on the couch Trying hard not to dream trying hard not to think About all the bad things that could happen today I've been in a dark palce Full of nightmares and pain Shine some light on me I've been feeling pretty weak and the futures looking bleak Shine some light on me It's just so hard to speak When heavy words make you sink You were dancing with dreams on the opposite side Of the country where you took a stab at your life Found how fragile our bones and our bodies can be Well at least there it's warm By the Atlantic sea Shine some light on me I've been freezing fucking col over on the West coast Shine some light on me It's been buckets of rain here in sweet Oregon state Dracula's dead dancing daughter Don't dance with me no more on dangerous waters Petrified purely by pain Prettiest girl pirouettes off the stage Please just give me more time I just needed more time Shine some light on me I've been feeling fucking weak and the futures looking bleak Shine some light on me it's been dark damp and cold over on the West coast Shine some light on me It's been buckets of rain here in sweet Oregon state Shine some light on me Hate when things start to change I can only stay the same
23.
Ghost 05:54
Ghost I could really use a friend Cause lately I've been such a mess And I can't seem to forget All the bad things I did Please I could use some company I haven't gone out in weeks Just been laying by the kitchen sink Throwing up everything I eat I can't stomach another loss So i'll bike down to the docks Sit alone the waters edge Take a plunge i'll probably regret But the world looks so good from beneath As I slowly start to sink And as the weight fills over me I find it really hard to breathe
24.
Please help me remember All of the good days They're fading away Along with old memories These days I can’t recall a smile from your face Maybe this is better Cause you just think of me as a past mistake Wish I was still sixteen Sharing shit slurpees And feeling no pain But time moves slowly and i’ll just sit here as I break Call me tell me i’m glad you care but it’s too late These days she can’t sleep She barely can eat Anxiety rips her to shreds Just forget what we said and come lay in my bed We’ll drink and forget it instead But I know soon you gotta go I don’t mind i’m used to it on my own I got real good at being alone But I hope that you know You can always call me here on the phone I don’t care what it is let me know Though i’m just some old memory at most you’ll always find me here on the west coast

about

I recorded This album off and on between December 2017 and January 2018. It has been the most taxing recording process mentally and emotionally I've ever done. I hope you can find a song or two that you enjoy on the album. Also disclaimer this was not recorded in a studio or with actual "music recording equipment" I just made it work with a small field recorder and a free downloadable digital audio editor (audacity).

credits

released January 24, 2018

Thank you to Megan, Joey, and CJ for letting me use your house for recording most of the album. #Gomezhouse

Thank you Matthew Mischke for playing all the trumpet parts on the album, i'm glad you are willing to be on this project over and over again.

Thank you to my uncle Bryan Kennedy for letting me use his drum set and mics for the bulk of the drums on the album.

Thank you Jon Garcia for also letting me use your drums on the album <3

Thank you Chris, Cara, and Alyosha for letting me use your piano to record, it really brought a special element to the songs it appears on.

Megan Blankenship provided vocals on "Someday I'll Be Old, And You Will Still Be Beautiful"

Credit for the picture used as the album cover goes to my grandpa Andres Alvarez, I miss you.

Thank you to my family for the continued support and putting up with me mixing the album in the den. Mom,Dad, Little Brother, And Buffon I love you guys <3

Thank you to anyone that gives my music a chance, It means the world to me, you have no Idea.

-Andy

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postrich bear Salem, Oregon

www.facebook.com/postrichbear/

Making music in a basement.

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